Sometimes Tomorrow Never Comes - May 8,2010

"I will ________________when____________________."

If we reflect on our lives, it doesn't take long to fill in the blanks.

"I will go back to school when I save a little more money ..... I will start a family when I am more established in my career ..... I will spend more time with my friends when I'm finished with the quarterly reports ..... I will travel to Europe when I retire."

I'm certainly no expert at avoiding procrastination.

For years, I contemplated leaving reporting to become a teacher, but I kept waiting for the day when I would have more certainty that it was "the right path for me." I still might be reporting and wondering "what if" had it not been for friends who drew me into the deep end with a combination of coercion, reassurance, and threats. Now, I can't imagine my life without a classroom in it.

Last spring, I kept rationalizing that I would wait to set up this blog when I had more time to "flesh out the details" and when the economy "picked up." Again, a couple of friends helped in the decision-making process by encouraging me to take the leap of faith.

Often, I turn to my family and friends when I'm stuck in the "I will_________when _________" mode, but if I'm still unable to act, I think of Bill.

I met Bill back in the 1980s while doing temp work at a pharmaceutical company in New York City. Not a week would pass by without Bill talking about the lake house that he was building for retirement.

Bill's plan was to put in as much overtime as possible so that he could afford to retire early. Bill was the classic workaholic. When he was not working, Bill was overseeing the construction of his dream house. For years, it was work and house, work and house, work and house.

But Bill always said the sacrifice would be worth it because, once he retired, he would slow down and finally enjoy life.

When I left New York, Bill was still working feverishly to accomplish his plans. Years later, I caught up with one of my former colleagues at the pharmaceutical company and asked about Bill.

Yes, Bill did retire early, and yes, he did move to his dream house to finally slow down and enjoy life. As a man in his late 50s, Bill looked forward to many happy years at the lake, but that never happened. Less than 24 months later, Bill died of cancer.

"I will _________________when _____________________."

I've been thinking about Bill a lot lately because of a retreat I did last month at the monastery of the Benedictine Sisters in Cullman, Alabama.

One day, while walking through the community's cemetery, I noticed the grave markers of two women: Sister Angela Mulvey and Sister Rose Coleman. Both were born about a month apart in 1885.

Grave markers can't reveal the answers to questions such as where the two women were from; did they knew each prior to arriving at the monastery; or why they decided to become Sisters, but I'd like to imagine that the two women had known each other in childhood and that together they might have made the decision to enter the religious order.

Having a trusted friend would have made the transition to Benedictine life a lot easier, but even if they weren't prior friends, I'm sure it was a comfort for Angela and Rose to be so close in age.

Life was difficult in the 1800s in rural Alabama, especially with the oppressive heat and illnesses such as tuberculosis, but it still must have been a shock to the community when Sister Angela died in 1905 at the age of 19.

I'll never know what Sister Angela envisioned for her future, but I'll bet she expected to be on earth a lot longer. Maybe, she, too, had a list of "I will___________when_________."

I'm especially curious how the death would have impacted Sister Rose, since they were the same age. Did it make her appreciate life even more? Did seeing her friend die motivate Rose to not put off till tomorrow what she could do today?

On the other hand, Sister Rose might have dismissed the death as an isolated tragedy and maintained the belief that she would have plenty of years left to develop into a master teacher or to cure the sick or to perhaps one day become the prioress of the community. After all, chances were good that two young Sisters wouldn't both die as teenagers.

And so, life probably returned quickly to normal.

When I visited the cemetery last month, I first came across the grave of Sister Angela, but it wasn't hard to find Sister Rose’s burial spot because it was located just inches away from Angela's. It turned out that a year and a half after Sister Angela's death, Sister Rose also died - on Angela's birthday.

"I will _________________when _____________________."

I believe we procrastinate because we think we'll have enough time to get to the items on our lists. Unfortunately, life seems to intervene if we put things off.

All too often that desire to go back to school is sidelined forever in lieu of buying a new house or a new car. Even though the career becomes established, the dream of having kids dies because the would-be parents are now too old. The quarterly reports get finished, but the friendships that were long neglected deteriorate beyond repair. The retirement watch is finally awarded, but the recipient's health has deteriorated, making the trip to Europe impossible.

Teaching high school kids is a constant reminder of the rapidity with which time passes. It seems like just yesterday when I graduated from high school, but the age on my driver's license indicates that it actually occurred 27 years ago, a fact that my students enjoy kidding me about. "Mister, you're old," they've been known to say, which in their eyes, I am.

My kids still don't believe me when I tell them that they'll wake up one day and wonder where the years have gone. That's why I always tell them to NOT put things off and to quit saying, "I will ____________
when _____________."

I'll admit that I've still got many things on my "I will_______" list, but at least I can say that Traveling Teacher 2010 is not one of them. I hope that you are enjoying my blog, and I hope that you will continue to support me in my effort to prove that someone can travel around the world relying on the generosity of strangers.

How about you? What's on your "I will_________when_________list?"

We might be able to put the items on our lists off until tomorrow or next week or even next year and still achieve our goals, but remember that Bill, Sister Angela, and Sister Rose also likely kept putting some things off until tomorrow, but ultimately they arrived at the moment in their lives when tomorrow never came, and one day we'll all arrive at that point, too.


UPDATE ON TRIP TO TURKEY

In an earlier post, I told you that a friend has offered to donate a ticket for my trip to Turkey. She is still pricing the ticket and is currently out of town, herself, so I don't have the travel dates yet. I will pass them along as soon as I know them.

In the mean time, I still have received only $34.05 to spend on food and lodging. Please consider making a donation using either one of the two PayPal buttons on the right side of my blog.