Comfortable or Life Changing? - February 1, 2010

Lately, I've been mulling over a haunting question that I can't seem to get out of my mind, a question that a friend suggested we ask ourselves when faced with any decision, especially a major one – do we choose the comfortable path or select the path that could truly be life changing?


It’s easy to remain in a comfortable job, a comfortable relationship, or a comfortable pattern of behavior, even if we know it might be wrong for us, because walking down a potentially life-changing path can just be too frightening, even if we know the path is probably right for us.

Sometimes, I’ve shied away from the latter path. Although I don't have many regrets, occasionally, I wonder how things might have turned out differently, if I had had the courage to walk down more of the life-changing paths.

Watching television, which I admit I’ve spent countless hours doing, is comfortable. Reading a book, especially a challenging one, can potentially change a reader forever. Tending to one’s yard is comfortable. Spending that same time volunteering could transform the volunteer and the lives of those with whom the volunteer interacts. Buying a new television is comfortable. Donating that money to charity can literally mean the difference between life and death for someone.

I’m not trying to make a value judgment. I’m merely grappling with the notion that we make certain choices because we want familiarity, comfort, and safety, and we avoid making other choices because we are afraid of the possible pitfalls, although going down the uncomfortable path might ultimately make us happier.

In regards to travel, I think it’s also useful to address the question of comfortable versus life changing when considering one’s destination. I enjoy an occasional trip to Florida. It’s a chance to relax, soak up some sun, and eat great seafood. It’s comfortable, but no trip to Florida has ever had any lasting impact on my life, other than a few days of short-term pleasure.

I took my first life-changing trip back in 1994 when I went to Guatemala for seven months to study Spanish and to travel. I was uncomfortable on many occasions. At first, I didn’t understand the language. I lacked many of the conveniences of home, including heat, even though the temperature on some nights dropped to 20 degrees. I was surrounded by poverty. I battled stomach parasites, and at one point while traveling in Nicaragua, I was so sick and dehydrated that I didn’t have the strength for several days to climb out of bed to board a bus to get back to my “family’s” home in Guatemala.

But with the challenges came some life-changing gifts. I got to learn firsthand about the rich culture of Guatemala and to experience the kindness and incredible generosity of the people. I got to learn Spanish, which I still use to communicate with individuals in my community and with my students. I got a chance to see some of the poverty that I’d previously only read about, which, to this day, motivates me to contribute to charities doing relief work overseas. I got a chance to find out for myself that a person doesn’t need a lot of material possessions to be happy.

I was so moved by the way that Guatemalans reached out to me that I've always tried to repay some of that kindness when I encounter Guatemalans in my own country. In many respects, my experiences in Guatemala inspired me to teach English to Speakers of Other Languages (ESOL).

I’m not implying that an overseas trip, especially to a developing country, will automatically change one’s life for the better. In fact, it can do just the opposite. I’m familiar with a volunteer who was so overwhelmed by what he saw while working in the slums of India, that he needed psychological help and has no desire to ever return to such a situation. All I am saying is that some trips contain the seeds for a potentially life-changing experience, while other trips, such as lying on the beach in Miami, normally don’t.

As with all other decisions, I think that we avoid traveling to certain destinations out of fear. When I told friends I wanted to go to Guatemala, many replied that I was crazy because Guatemala was dangerous. Yet, I never ran into any problems. When I said I wanted to visit Haiti, even more people said I was crazy, but once again, I had nothing but positive experiences.

I agree that travelers need to exercise more caution in some countries, just as travelers to the United States need to exercise more caution in some cities rather than others, but excessive caution can stand in the way of the thrill of learning about and interacting with new cultures.

In 1993, I missed out on a chance to participate intimately in a cultural and religious experience abroad because of fear. At the time, I was visiting a small village a few hours outside of Guadalajara, Mexico. The occasion was Holy Week, which in Christianity is the commemoration of the last week of Jesus Christ's life leading up to his crucifixion and resurrection.

Each year, the village reenacts the events of the Passion of Christ. Hundreds of villagers march through the streets following the person who's playing the role of Christ. The procession ends outside the village with the "Christ" actor being tied to a cross atop a hill.

It's an honor to be chosen to play Jesus. Because I was a visitor, I was asked to play the role, but I declined because, at the time, I knew very little Spanish, and I was afraid I would look foolish if I had to speak.

It turned out that the actor didn't have to say a word.

As I walked through the village watching the moving spectacle, the painful realization sunk in that I had blown a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, and worse, I realized I might have offended some of the villagers. Now, I use this past incident to emphasize to my students that we don't always get second chances in life.

Excessive caution or fear can also quickly quash potentially life-changing trips within the United States. Listen closely. You can almost hear these thoughts echoing through the universe..."I wonder what it would be like to help out in Appalachia?.....Nah....Maybe, I could hammer some nails for Habitat for Humanity?.....No, I need to catch up on some things....Could I have helped out with Hurricane Katrina?.....Nope, that's silly."

Again, it gets back to the question of comfortable versus life changing. We might prefer comfort and safety and fun, but, as my friend suggested recently when he raised his challenging question, pursuing potentially life-changing paths could lead to long-term joy.

The World Responds to Haiti - January 23, 2010

It’s not a good time to be giving away one’s money. The U.S. unemployment rate remains at 10 percent, and many of us fortunate enough to have jobs are seeing our pay checks cut through less hours, furlough days and higher insurance costs. The nation is shackled by an ever-increasing debt, and depending on which economist you listen to, we are either still in or slowly climbing out of one of the worst worldwide recessions in decades.

During these uncertain economic times, millions of Americans have slashed their personal spending to save money, so it seems a bit illogical that anyone right now would be giving away his hard-earned cash, especially to strangers. Yet, that’s exactly what’s been happening in Haiti.

According to The Chronicle of Philanthropy, since the earthquake, private donors have contributed more than $380 million to help the people of Haiti. From an economic standpoint, such actions don’t make sense because donors are diminishing their wealth and getting nothing in return, aside from a possible tax break.

Donating only makes sense if we accept the notion that human beings sometimes are motivated by principles other than just self-interest. A cynic might say that people are donating out of guilt or pity or to save a little money on their taxes. That might be partially true in some cases, but I don’t think it could account for the magnitude and the fervor of the response to the Haitian crisis.

As I continue to write on this blog and to tell my students, I believe the majority of people are kind and generous and will reach out to help others, given the right set of circumstances. Eating a candy bar feels good, but it feels even better sharing the candy bar with someone else. It’s no different with money. Giving makes us feel good.

Why? Although we lose sight of it sometimes in our daily struggles and pursuits, I believe we all know deep down that we are happiest and most fully alive when we respond to that little voice inside of us that tells us to think of others, not just ourselves.

Please, if you haven't done so already, consider making a donation to the relief effort in Haiti.

A Plea For the People of Haiti - January 14, 2010

Even in the best of times, life is a daily struggle in Haiti. Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere and one of the most impoverished nations worldwide. About 80% of the people live below the poverty line, trying to exist on an average annual income of around $450. The country suffers from numerous problems, including a lack of infrastructure, few natural resources, insufficient health care, widespread illiteracy, malnutrition, disease, and political upheaval dating back to the country's founding.

Once, I asked a relief work in Haiti where volunteers could best utilize their money and their efforts to improve the lives of Haitians. He replied, "Take your pick. There are just so many problems to tackle. It's hard to know where to begin."

Haiti is one of the countries least equipped to deal with natural disasters, but because of its geographical location, it's been hit by numerous hurricanes, floods, droughts, and earthquakes. Haiti was still attempting to recover from the damage caused by three hurricanes back in 2008 when, this week, one of the most devastating disasters ever befell the country, a 7.0-magnitude earthquake, which killed tens of thousands of people.

Three years ago, I traveled to Haiti's northern city of Milot to visit my church's "adopted parish," Immaculate Conception.











The priest, Fr. Tijwa, told me because of Haiti's dire economic situation, most hospitals, schools, churches, and social service agencies couldn't survive without foreign financial assistance. Again, this is the scenario during the best of times.

Now, Haiti must deal with a crisis that would overwhelm even the most wealthy and powerful of countries. Haiti needs our help.

I realize this post is a bit of a departure from my other entries, but my blog is meant to be an experiment in benevolence. All along, I've told my students that I believe the world is a good place. I have faith that the world will respond to the plight of Haiti.

Please, if you have a few dollars to spare, send them to one of the numerous agencies already mobilizing to assist Haitians, who I've found to be some of the kindest, most generous, most resourceful people I've ever met.

This morning, I received word that Fr. Tijwa was alive and well, but several of his friends died in the earthquake in Port-au-Prince, including the city's archbishop. Despite his loss, Fr. Tijwa was more focused on the living and wanted to pass along his personal plea that all of us, who can afford it, consider contributing to some agency, any agency, that is working to alleviate the suffering in Haiti.

As a teacher, I sometimes hear adults complain about the selfishness and the idleness of our youth. Today, as I was leaving school, I passed one of my former students in the hallway. The boy, who led an extremely difficult life growing up in his native country, appeared to be a bit dejected and preoccupied.

When I asked him what was wrong, I expected him to say that he was having trouble with a girl or needed money to buy a car or was bothered by any of a number of the dramas that affect teenagers. Instead, he replied, "Mr. Dickinson. I wish I could go and help in Haiti."

There's Always Hope - January 8, 2010

As a new year begins, if there's nothing else, there's always hope. If you lost your job, there's hope you will find a new one. If your marriage ended, there's hope you will meet someone else, maybe someone even more compatible. If you are suffering from an addiction, there's hope you will finally overcome it. I've never been a fan of the revelry of New Year's Eve, but I've always been comforted by the notion of a new year offering the chance of new beginnings and new possibilities.

Back in August, I launched my blog in response to a classroom discussion of whether people are basically good or evil. Through this online endeavor, I want to find out if benevolence can take me around the world, but I also want to show my students that any dream is possible, no matter how improbable it might seem. That's because there's always hope.

To this day, I have told only six people about my blog, as well as my 9th grade ESOL English class of 15 students, so I can see how an idea spreads, much like ripples spread across a lake after a rock plunges into the water. Since August, I've had more than 1,000 visits to the site from 31 states, 17 foreign countries and 2 territories.

Even though I've received only $34 in donations, I remain hopeful that I will be traveling overseas this summer. Hope is what fills me with excitement each day as I open my e-mail with the belief that today might be the day that I've received a ticket from the president of an airline or received a huge donation.

Although many of my kids don't think I'll raise enough money for my trip, a week doesn't pass by without a student asking me for an update on who's visited my blog or if I've collected additional money. I'm thrilled when a student asks because it gives me a chance to, once again, remind the kids that they should remain optimistic about their own dreams, such as graduating from high school or achieving better lives than the ones they left behind in their native countries.

At times, I'm surprised that my students continue to express such interest in my blog. I'm not sure why, but part of me believes that they want to see my crazy experiment succeed because then it might make their own dreams seem a little more attainable. After all, there's always hope.